April 15, 2005. Friday.

So I apparently have been going out with Jimmy since monday the 11th. He calls me his baby girl and he kisses me on his forehead. Oh god if I could only describe how happy he makes me. It's a little weird keeping it a secret in school and such. Ms. Savoie knows, and I told Danielle and Alyssa. He'll get over people knowing eventually, he just doesn't want them to know unless it's going to work out. That's what I think anyways. I think I'm going to have a very hard time not having sex with him... I'm not sure what to do about that.

I could go on birth control, and I've considered it... I just don't know if i really want to do that... Who knows. Where we are now is so good. We communicate best through eye contact which is a little strange, but hey, it makes sense to me. Who knows who knows. He's good at cuddling... I still havent been inside his house though and I really want to be. I don't think he told his parents about me... I can't tell though and it's fine with me. I can understand where he's coming from because my parents are just as nosy.

Jimmy's full name is Jimmy Junior Rosario-Cruz. I have no idea why his middle name is junior and how Jimmy got to be his name and not a nickname. he told me that his family has something to do with the government but he cant say what. Whatever, it's his uncle or something so it doesnt matter. My eyes are so tired I have to go pack for Arizona. OH YEAH! Jimmy was so sweet before the talent show tonight, he called and wished me good luck. I smiled so bad.

<3 Lauren

April 19, 2005. Tuesday.

I talked to Jimmy on Sunday night for two hours(which was really monday morning). From 12:30 to 2:45 ish. Which, his time, was about 3:30 to 5:45 ish. it was the best conversation in the world even though I can't exactly remember what we talked about. His mom is mad at him for something so I haven't talked to him since then. Who knows what he did. I'm really kind of scared of his mom, but I don't know. Maybe he'll call me later but truthfully I have no idea if he will... If I don't talk to him that much this week I could very well cry when I see him next. School is going to be ridiculous.

Oh yeah, i told almost the entirety of my family about him. I wish he could understand that, but he can't. I also kind of semi-lied and said that he and I had been dating for about a month so far. We have yet to go on any kind of actual date. I think I asked him to go to the movies with me, but not necessarily a certain time or movie or place even. Obviously we can't go to willimantic because his stepfather goes there almost everynight and then of course his friends. I give up sometimes, really. I'm going back to bed so I'm not so stressed out about all of this. Yup.

Oh yeah. Jimmy told me that his grandfather is the governor of Puerto Rico. Fact or fiction? I have no idea. Dating a puerto rican is quite strange for me though. argh I don't know. When I told my aunt debbie he was puerto rican, she was very quick to say that this was going nowhere. Whatever, that kind of pissed me off.

Bye now... not like anyone can read this.

Lauren

April 24, 2005. Sunday.

Yesterday Jimmy and I had a fight about the bible... I'm not really sure what happened there. I was in an airport while we were having the fight. He hung up on me because I was laughing at him... I really just felt like laughing. So anyways, I haven't talked to him since then and I think that he is upset with me. very upset with me. I have to do something to fix this, but I'm not very good at that. Like I always say, it's how you deal with the first fight that makes or breaks a couple.

It's just that part of me can't believe we actually had an argument while I was in the airport. I was cranky from flying, and he was cranky because of track. Whatever, whatever. And the thing that started the argument? Well I suppose it happens. This relationship is kind of ridiculous in itself. It's getting way too juvenile for me. I mean, he may BE 17 but he doesn't actually act like it. I've called his house a bunch of times today and he "feels sick" which is code for, "I'm going to break up with you." This of course may not be the case but i feel that I should consider this at this point. I think he believes that I don't believe in God, which is entirely not true... I don't know I just don't see why he's all mad. I was trying to explain myself but he wouldn't let me.

This is just one of those things you wish you could just go back and change. I think I'm going to ask Alex Schiff to go to prom with me instead of Jimmy. Because let's face it, I'd have a lot more fun with a person who likes my friends. That's just the way it is. I hope to god I don't end up hanging out with a bunch of losers that night... it's my biggest fear I guess.

Jimmy inspired me to write a song but now he has thoroughly pissed me off. Err. What a struggle with this boy. I am going to go fill out my application for Subway then go to bed. Goodnight.

<3 Lauren